“Never trust a crab in matters of the heart.”
I have been rereading a biography on Jane Austen by Canadian author, Carol Shields. She says that it is hard to write a biography on Austen because once you get into “Jane-mode” (my bad paraphrasing), you want to start writing like her.
Obviously, this is not a good thing when you’re trying to capture the Life of Jane Austen, remaining distant and observant of facts, the stuff real life is made of, not fantasy.
Austen has this rhythm that is all at once captivating and spellbinding. It is lyrical and magical. It really is something to behold.
I am blending the new and the old, via The Little Mermaid. Sebastian the Crab is teaching Ariel how to get the prince’s affection and heart.
This little snippet proves that matters of the heart are a difficult thing, regardless of species.
One time, I was sitting by a lake and watched as two birds, a male and a female, sat on the water, casually floating along. Another male bird came along. He began to strut his stuff for the girl bird. He then spread his wings, scaring off the other male bird. It worked. The ‘weaker’ male bird flew away, dejected.
I wonder if he went off and purposely flung himself against a wall in despair…I wonder if all the other birds laughed and made fun of him…I wonder if he finally found love…
It also made me wonder why we women do all sorts of things to attract a man. I think we need to pay attention to the animal kingdom, and take our cue from the female bird.
We need to let men strut their stuff for us, and prove themselves a worthy partner. Not the other way around.
Okay, well maybe both sides need to see the other as a worthy partner, but I think women go a little overboard worrying about whether, “He likes me.” Better questions are: “Is he a good guy? Is he worthy of me?”
I think the things we do border on insanity. I have all too often ignored the signs – blatant, obvious signs in hopes that he would “like me.” Let’s not do this anymore, Ladies! (I am preaching to myself, here!)
Being a fiction writer, I find it difficult to not fall into the “Happily ever after” pit, but let’s face it, that’s pretty much what we want. We want things to end tidily, not messily. Jane Austen did it. The Victorians did it. Pretty much all fiction does it…The messiness comes in the beginning and in the middle, and then miraculously, and by the magic of Hollywood, ends well.
Here’s the Hollywood scoop: Girl meets boy. Boy is a jerk. Girl gets annoyed with boy. Girl dumps boy. Boy changes to get girl back (picture the male bird strutting his stuff here!)… It works. Boy and Girl live happily ever after…sigh…
Here’s the Reality scoop: Girl meets boy. Boy is a jerk. Girl gets annoyed with boy’s ‘Yes’, ‘No’, ‘Maybe’, ‘Not yet, soon’ game. Boy comes sniveling back. Girl takes him back. Repeat cycle. Repeat cycle. Repeat cycle until girl has really had enough. Boy walks away, unscathed. Girl is scarred.
Here’s how it ought to go: Girl meets boy. Boy is a jerk. Girl does not like boy. Boy tries to get girl in the sack. Girl does not want to have sex with boy. Boy does not change. Girl is under no illusions. Boy still thinks he can get girl in the sack. Girl laughs heartily. Boy walks away dejected. Hooray Girl!
Back to The Little Mermaid. With no significant help from Sebastian the Crab, Ariel gets the prince (who is conveniently not a jerk, only moderately dense).
The moral of the blog: Never trust a crab in matters of the heart…Trust only in God!