Monthly Archives: October 2016

The Trumpster

Hi there,

When Donald Trump, let’s call him, the Trumpster, becomes President of the United States of America, the first thing he’s going to do with all that power is to get rid of all the Mexicans, annex Puerto Rico, then deport all the Puerto Ricans living in the U.S. back to their sovereign nation, (you’re welcome Puerto Ricans), and then dump the Cubans off in the shark-infested coast of, well, Cuba or thereabouts.  President Trumpster doesn’t really care so long as there are sharks to eat all the Cubans…

So, when Hispanic Canadians are contemplating making October national Hispanic month, they’re probably looking ahead to the future, the near future, like two weeks into the future, when President Trumpster begins the Great Deportation, (as it will fondly be looked upon by historians when America is actually great again – as in the day when he moves out of the White House).

‘Cos you know, (insert Hitler salute), that it won’t stop there. Next, the Trumpster will have to rid America of the “miscreants” (a word I love! and coined by Major Duncanson in his infamous order of the Massacre of Glencoe, Scotland 1692), also known as the Hispanic population.  But where will all these miscreants go? you ask.

Cana-duh of course!

After all, don’t we have a wonderful history of taking in people America no longer wants, or who no longer want America?

  • Africans – Those enslaved by, hmm….how would I describe the slave owners, miscreants sounds like a decent word.
  • The Loyalists.  Those bloody miscreants, who wanted to remain loyal to Britain, and not rebel in the American Revolution.
  • The Hispanics (Coming soon to a township in Canada near you.)

Oh Canada!

  • Of course, that land stolen from the Indigenous peoples, promised by the British government to the Africans for their support, fell through.
  • Not for the White Loyalists though.  They got their land. And, good land.  Isn’t it wonderful to be White…It’s like a Winter Wonderland throughout all of history.

I’m getting side-tracked.  Back to the Trumpster.

The Trumpster will have to keep going. Next up on the Trumpster’s list – Canadians.

And, I don’t mean Canadians living in America (sing along!), I mean Canada.  the Trumpster is going to annihilate us.

Annihilate:   “to destroy (something or someone) completely” (Merriam-Webster).

But, for what? you ask.

For taking in all those miscreants I was talking about earlier, that’s for what.

So, since we’re all doomed anyway, I figure we should go out dancing and singing and shaking our bodies to the Conga!

Take it away, Gloria!

 

Blessings,

Ellie

 

 

 

Wonder Woman for President

Hi there,

Did you hear? The United Nations has named Wonder Woman as an ambassador for women.  There’s been some uproar over this and criticism of the UN.  I am not going to criticize the UN, as I thought I could use my time more wisely.

Here’s a list of women who I think are pretty terrific.  I am sure some of my choices (or at least one) will be controversial.  (But, hey you need at least one, right?)

1)  Maya Angelou – she’s written a wonderful poem called Phenomenal Woman.  A verse from the poem reads,

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.

Read the full poem here:
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/48985

2) Dr. Roberta Bondar –   Canada’s first female astronaut and the first neurologist in space. This woman has more letters after her name than anyone I’ve ever known –
OC OOnt FRCPC FRSC

3) Mother Teresa – need I say more? Maybe I should.  I would encourage us to read,
No Greater Love.  Women’s Magazine said, “No Greater Love is a passionate testament to Mother Teresa’s deep hope and abiding faith in God and the world….Through her own words, this book celebrates the life and work of one of the great humanitarians of our time.”

4) Buffy St. Marie – I recently had the opportunity to see her perform.  Born February 20, 1941, she’s 75 and still  going strong, speaking out on what she believes in.  Take a listen to her song,  Universal Soldier, here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYEsFQ_gt7c

5) Madonna – I warned you! I have loved Madonna since I was in Grade 3. One verse of Holiday, and I was hooked.  She’s strong, smart and seems to be very much in control of her own career.  With all the pressure and negative things the media ALWAYS says about her, she has stayed the course.  The woman is disciplined, and I think must be a woman of strong faith.

See the official video for Holiday, here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Rswx2Z7SDw

6) Audrey Hepburn – I was going to write a blog about her alone, but decided she needed to be on this list.  I recently read a quote by Ms. Hepburn that exemplifies why she’s terrific! She said, “I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.”  Don’t you just love this woman to bits???

7) Mrs. Balderston – My grade 8 teacher. When Mrs. Balderston learned that I wanted to be a director, she gave me the opportunity to direct a school play. I even got to leave class to go to rehearsal.  (I didn’t become a director (at least not yet), but she helped and encouraged me.)  And for that I am thankful and believe she gets to be on the list.

8) Mrs. El-Y-Ari (really not spelling that one right) – She was the school receptionist/secretary/assistant, who let a couple of us girls go into the office in the morning and answer the phones. FUN!  By grade three we were pretty proficient at using the PA System, taking messages, forwarding calls.  Loved Mrs. El-Y-Ari!!

9) And, no list would be complete without my Mom!  The woman gave birth to me and has loved me unconditionally ever since. She’s always proud of me and cheers me on, telling me I can do anything I set my mind to.  She tells me I’m smart, beautiful and a wonderful daughter. Sometimes, I do not feel so worthy of all this praise.  I know I’m blessed to have a good mom.

10) I also have to mention to my grandmothers, Audrey and Rose.  Two very different woman, who also had a great influence on my character and development. I’m cheeky like Audrey and gentle like Rose.  🙂  These women had such a strong faith in God, that they surely passed that faith onto me.

I would love for you to share your stories of women who have made a difference in your life, professionally, personally, spiritually.  – For real – That’s why it’s in bold!

And, don’t forget to thank a Phenomenal Woman in your life today.

Blessings,

Ellie

Ellie’s Near Encounter with…

Hi there,

Today’s blog is proudly sponsored by the letter “C” for “Crazy”.   Crazy, for those days when you wonder where your brain’s got to.  (No kidding, I first spelled “suspense” wrong, and then spelled “your” “you’re.)

I am not actually sure if this blog has anything to do with crazy. I just finished reading Jenny Lawson’s Furiously Happy.  She battles mental illness. I was relating a story I had read in her book to a co-worker, which I had found hilarious, so hilarious I had laughed so hard I cried, but for some strange reason, my co-worker didn’t.

I wondered if you have to be a bit crazy yourself to appreciate crazy.  (By the way, Lawson uses this word to describe herself and people around her do take shake their heads at her, and tell her not to say that, but heck, it’s better than calling oneself a lunatic – You’ll have to get the book to read what I am referencing here…You’re welcome, Jenny Lawson!  And, since my own mother battles mental illness, I figure I’ve earned my stripes.)

Furiously Happy  inspired me to tell my own crazy and fantastical story. Those of you who know me are already in the know.

Here are Ellie’s Top 3 Too-Close-for-Comfort Encounters with Mad-Squirrels Stories:

# 3.   One morning I was walking to work and saw a grey squirrel. Now it’s usually the black squirrels I have issues with, so I thought nothing of this particular squirrel. But, you know that feeling you get when you think someone is staring at you?  Well, I had just that feeling. When I turned around, the grey squirrel was chasing after me.  I gasped and when I did this, my handbag fell from my shoulder to my arm, startling the unexpected squirrel.  He took off in another direction.  He thought he’d just sneak up from behind me and attack. That little…

# 2.  I was coming home one day, and you know how they say accidents happen when you’re closest to home. They’re right!  I was just about a block and a half away from home, when a mad-squirrel blocked my path. He was guarding the side-walk like he owned it. (You’d think he was a European-Colonizer or something.)   At any rate, he dug his little sharp-squirrel-nails into the concrete and guarded his territory like a mad-badger. (Badgers might be getting a bad rap here – I’ve actually never met a badger.)  So, I had to walk out onto the road to get around this bloody squirrel, and as I walked AROUND him, he kept moving his chubby rodent-like body toward me to make sure I wasn’t invading his space.

# 1.  And, finally the top prize for mad-squirrel disease goes to Chester. (I just made that name up – It does sound like a crazy-person’s name though, doesn’t it?)  Chester takes the cake.  I was going to church one Sunday morning (important detail because it implies there weren’t a lot of people out and about*), and Chester was on the OTHER side of the street, but when Crazy-Chester saw me, he darted across the street and charged at me. (I’m not even exaggerating here!!)  I lowered my bag to guard my lower extremities, in case Crazy-Chester decided to leap at me, and yelled at him to go away.  He wouldn’t budge. I looked at his mouth to see if it was foaming, but it was as dry as Arizona.  I yelled more. Nothing. I thought about giving him a good whack with my bag, but felt the odds were in his favour. After all, I’m not what the medical community would classify as a demented lunatic.  I finally saw a truck slowly making its way down the street, and I thought to myself, ‘Why are you driving so slowly? Hurry up and run this crazy-ass squirrel over, already!’  It dawned on me quite some time later what I must have looked like to this driver.   A demented lunatic on the sidewalk yelling and waving her arms madly at…a squirrel?

The moral of the story – Squirrels are evil bastards!

Stay safe. Stay alert. Stay off the sidewalks.**

Blessings,

Ellie

*Canadians don’t actually say “out and about”, but I thought I’d throw it in for the Americans who might be reading this blog. I know how disappointed and upset you get when we don’t fit the stereotype.

**In fact, don’t walk at all. This blog is actually a paid advertisement for the auto industry…I think Dow Honda owes me a car.

Precious

“I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God’s thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.”  George MacDonald

Hi there,

Do you think you’re precious?  Unique? Beautiful?

If you’re like me, when you look in the mirror, you see flaws.  You look down at your body and see lumps and curves, or maybe you see flatness.  Whatever it is, you know you’re not perfect.

Nobody is though!  Heidi Klum’s response to Donald Trump’s comment about how she is no longer a 10 was, well, first she was rather confused. She had no idea why he was even talking about her, but most importantly, she said, “Nobody’s a 10.”   Heidi Klum, people! Heidi Klum said, “Nobody’s a 10!”

George MacDonald’s quote runs deeper than the skin.

How do you feel about your gifts and talents?  Do you think you have something to offer the world? Do you look at others and think they have something more to give, something special to contribute?

Comparison is a killer.  It will destroy our sense of self and paralyze us. We will not reach our full potential if we constantly compare ourselves to others.

I just don’t think it’s possible to reach for the stars if we are constantly comparing our gifts, talents and abilities to others’.   We will always come up short, thinking and believing that someone is better, smarter, stronger than us.

And from this place, the thought, ‘Let somebody else deal with the issues and problems of the world. Someone who has more power, money, fame…’  will naturally flow out of us.

I get trapped into this way of thinking myself. I’m small.  I have no power.  I grew up in relative poverty (by the West’s standards).

And yet, I know that it is this way of thinking that keeps me small and powerless.  It is my own making (with help from the media/world).

I love being reminded of how I was uniquely created by God, with His own hands.  That if I do not do what God has put me here to do (in this time), then it will not get done. It’s a sad thought, but it also means that I have purpose, I am not a mistake and that everything I have gone through, who I am, can be used for the greater good.

I think a lot of times, we don’t see the impact we make on others.  I’ve learned even a simple smile can go a long way in making an impact in another person’s life.

Emmanuel Jal, former child-soldier, now speaker and musician, was a guest at our church. He challenged us to be thinkers and problem-solvers. That’s not an easy challenge. It’s much easier to choose the status-quo and watch mindless TV after a hard day’s work, but it is a challenge worthy of my time and effort. (www.emmanueljal.com)

Step 1 – I heard that listening to Baroque or Classical music makes you smarter, so I ‘ve put in a few CD’s and have been feeding my brain.  (It’s only been about a week and a half, so I’m guessing it may take some time…)

I encourage you to throw on some Classical music and feed your brain too! If nothing else, we’ll be pretty mellow and relaxed. Not necessarily a bad outcome, I’d say.

Blessings,

Ellie